surrealism

Had badminton as usual today. That's not so surreal in itself, but forgetting to actually go to work this morning because I'd convinced myself that I had the day off perhaps was. There were 9 people at badminton. Most of the older players had left by about 11pm so for the last hour or so I played Anushka, a very good player, at singles. At the end of one game, we heard giggling and shrieking coming from down the hallway, and we both stopped and looked at each other in what can only be described as total bewilderment. We took the chance to get some water from the kitchen, and heard the same noises, but closer this time.

Finally, a girl our age appeared from around a blind corner, but I only saw her out the corner of my eye as I turned my back on her, pretending not to notice she was there. Then a bald man with green eyes appeared, and asked if we were staying much longer. We said that we should be done playing by midnight, and he replied, "Oh good, I just have to make the church hall secure, there are some young girls sleeping over here tonight."

As if that passed for a reasonable explanation of why anyone in their right mind would want to sleep in a cold church while it was still freezing outside, he disappeared down the hallway he came from. We began to play our last game, and halfway through, this soft tapping noise came from behind the radiator in the room. We stopped, perplexed, and the noise duly stopped. I shrugged my shoulders and resumed the game. Not ten seconds later, the tapping noise started again. "This is some weird shit," I muttered. We stopped for a second time. The noise stopped yet again. "Right," I said, full of shaky confidence, "let's keep playing." The noise started a third time, but we chose to ignore it.

Finally, we finished that game and packed the badminton equipment away. We put the dry glasses back in the cupboard, locked the door and turned the lights off. On our way out, Anushka cracked a joke about how his car was right by the pavement, so he could just drive off if he wanted. Because of the ice, I had left my car in the church car park. Which wasn't so bad, except that it was immediately next to the dimly lit hallway where the girls and bald man had appeared from. I dismissed these swirling stupid thoughts and marched around the corner to my car. I unlocked it and started scraping the freshly formed frost off the windscreen while the engine ran. But something didn't feel right.

I turned around, and got the shock of my life to find the bald man watching me from behind a curtain. I hastily finished scraping the frost off, threw myself into the car, and slammed and locked all the doors. I flashed my wide beam across the car park. Anushka must have seen it because he pulled up outside the entrance seconds later. I floored it from where the car was parked. He must have got the message, as he turned right and sped away. I followed suit, thinking that the road was gritted, so there would be a reasonable amount of grip. What a totally bizarre and frightening evening...

Bruise. (Oleander)

This might be one of the finest songs in the world... and it's not even on Spotify. Oh, the shame.

She holds her head within her hands
Quietly reeling
If only he could understand
What she's feeling

She moves into me
To kiss my shoulder
With emergency
For me to hold her

It's all I want
When I want
She's all I need
When it's all
It's all I have
When I lose it's just a bruise

He holds his head within his hands
Contemplating
If only she could understand
Without waiting

She moves into me
To kiss my shoulder
With emergency
For me to hold her
Me to hold her

It's all I want
When I want
She's all I need
When it's all
It's all I have
When I lose it's just a bruise

And it's all we've ever known
Every moment
And it's for me I will grow

It's all I want
When I want
She's all I need
When it's all
It's all I have
When I lose it's just a bruise

It's all I want
When I want
She's all I need
She's everything
When it's all
It's all I have
When I lose it's just a bruise

philanthropy

So it's virtually Christmas time again eh? It never ceases to amaze me how quickly time seems to catch me every year. I'm sure it's the same for everyone though. You've packed the decorations and tree away in the loft, thought about clearing off the first round of inevitable bills for the presents everyone wanted, and before you know it, it's February. Then it's time to save up yet again because the MOT and DVLA come a-knocking in March. April is a pleasant month - it gets reasonably warmer, and the new leaves & flowers of the year start growing. From there, it's not long until warm, delightful summer, with the tennis, the Euro/World football, the seemingly endless cool nights, laughter and memories. Autumn is upon you before you're ready to give summer up, then the clocks go back, and then you've got Halloween and Bonfire Night at the start of November. By which time, Christmas is only around the corner again, and you have to start thinking anew of presents. Where does the time go?

It must be one of the biggest ironies of my life thus far that the more I age, the less control I wield (apparently) over my own destiny. It already feels like I have been shoehorned into this soul-destroying, idea-killing, freedom-stomping machine we all call and know as retail. But this wasn't the plan at all, if I remember rightly. Somewhere trapped inside of me is an articulate, intelligent man with two of the highest academic qualifications crying out for a real, meaningful job. And somewhere between 2006 and now it's all gone pear-shaped. Dead-end retail jobs aren't supposed to be the bedfellows of newly-crowned graduates. I would kill to be at a level most of my friends from high school are currently at. They have better jobs, better salaries, girlfriends, their own property. I couldn't even lay claim to possessing one of these four tenets of happiness.

So what, you ask? Why don't you get off your arse and do something about it? Well, it's not quite as easy as that. Admittedly, I haven't helped myself by picking a pig of an industry to operate in, (music) but it would still have been heartening to find at least some vacancies or suitable jobs. A lot of people over the last three years have roundly assumed that my lack of a decent job is somehow synonymous with a lack of effort or determination on my part. You can get it if you really want. Never give up. Try, try and try again. A veritable collection of frequently spouted cliches gets hurled at me from every angle.

It was never my aim or objective in life to become so cynical about life's little ways and means, but my circumstances have rapidly causing me to re-evaluate what life could and should offer me. It's all very well your family and friends consoling you with thoughts that things will get better... but...um, what if they don't? What if there isn't a happy ending? This isn't a Disney film. This is reality. Bad things can, and do, happen to good people. You and I see it every day, in every city, in every country. On the news, in glorious high definition. On the radio, a crackling androgynous voice recanting the death toll from the latest disaster. Again, a lot of people assume that I must be inherently negative. I would prefer to term myself a realist. Why can't reality be negative in itself? It's not that I'm a manic depressive - far from it. I am still capable of responding to generosity and thoughtfulness from others, but I don't experience this very often.

As The Offspring somewhat cheesily sang on Americana, 'I am a product of my environment'. Nothing more, nothing less.

Badminton, ramiya's birthday, recovering from much drinkage

So the last few days have been quite eventful. Lets start with Friday night. I go down to Harrow Leisure Centre around 7.30pm as you do. Play a few games with the uncles and aunties of the B-team. Then I join the more capable A-team around 9. Usually I lose around 60-70% of the A-team games I play. But this was a night and a half. I was in electric form! Imagine Thierry Henry in the form he was in during the Arsenal 03/04 Invincible season. That kind of form. I was unstoppable!I ended up winning 3 out of the 3 doubles matches.

Saturday afternoon, Liverpool lost 2-0 to Porstmouth. Thats my 50p accumulator gone down the drain after just 1 game played. Then Man Utd lose to Fulham, wooohoooo!

Bring on Saturday night for Ramiya's birthday party at Digress Bar, a fantastic venue. I bought a £5 smirnoff vodka bottle (cheaper than a double vodka and coke). Managed to wash that down with a can of coke, and I was buzzing. Got down to Digress, saw Haran, Vinod, Nivan, Shobana, Meera, Sinduja and of course the birthday girl Ramiya. Then the others reeled in. Rajeivan, Vani, Nirupy, Ramesh, brother-in-law Arpan, sister Janani, Nish, Anthony, Sam, Ahilan, Indu, Sindhu, Kajarooban and Suwetha.

It was a party and a half I tell ya! Thanks in part to the vodka and coke I glugged earlier on. (I apologize to everyone for my drunken behavior). I was giving out my business cards left, right and centre. Here's an example of how I met one of Ramiya's King's medic mates.

"Hi, I'm Mark"
"Hi, I'm Janahan, here's my business card." (gives the business card) "I'm a musician"

It was great to see Ahilan, Indu, Sam, Sindhu and Nish. You guys rocked! I ended up dancing the night away, getting a cab home with Nirupy, Ramesh and Rajeivan. I recall drunkenly telling Ramesh about my gambling antics. But I reckon he already knew.

Anyways, a final thank you to Ramiya for the great party. And Meera and Ramesh for the kick-up-the-arse talks.

Black Sheep, sleep, work, sleep, badminton xmas meal, house party, Lizzie

Totally frenetic weekend just gone and I'm absolutely exhausted! Bob was around on Friday night after I finished my shift at work. He came over from Harrow to go to the Black Sheep with me, but the situation was made needlessly complicated by the trains from his end not running to Sutton. By the time he had figured out an alternative way to get to West Croydon from London Bridge, I had got home, showered, changed, had dinner, and got to Sutton. Luckily I had managed to catch the 2nd last train out of Sutton, getting there for about midnight.

It was freezing when we arrived at Sheep, and luckily there was no queue to get in. Disturbingly, I'm starting to think that the Sheep's biometric fingerprinting is actually rather cool, whereas a couple of years ago it seemed like unnecessary prying. Almost immediately after arriving, we'd set ourselves up near a group of three girls, one of whom Bob claims was "looking at me in an interested way several times." This does of course illustrate the level and depth of Bob's judgment, as when I asked her if she wanted to dance, she fobbed me off with "sorry, I've already got a bf."

A while later, something surreal happened. Bob was busy getting himself a snake bite, a smaller (younger?) girl came trotting up to me and introduced herself as Harriet. She then wrapped her arms around me and hugged herself against me in a totally flirtatious way, before murmuring, "you've got a nice hug", after which she vanished back into the crowd. Now if I was any other guy in the world I would have already committed to memory what such a hot, confident girl would look like. But oh no, not Jamie. I was so drunk by this point that I had completely forgotten what she even looked like. No phone number, not zip. Tragic.

We stayed at the Sheep until they closed, about 4.15am. By then, of course, the hot girls had been snapped up, and the place was rapidly turning into a meatfest. So we took the only sensible course of action, which was a cab home. (Thank you TFL for stopping the N213!) Bob had to be back at the train station by 8.30, so we had just under 4 hours sleep. We walked down there in the biting morning cold, and I picked the car up from where I parked it just hours before. Then it was back home for a quick coffee, and off to work...

...which was a total snoozefest. After work came a quick couple of hours' kip, and then it was off to the Badminton Xmas Meal at the Mint, in Banstead. Much hilarity when everyone arrived, as the Mint had apparently lost our orders and had no idea what everyone wanted to eat. Luckily, the club president Neil had kept a photocopy of our options. I had the roasted stuffed mushrooms to start (anyone who knows me in the slightest will testify that this is unbelievable!) followed by a traditional main course of roast turkey, pig in blanket, sage & onion stuffing, veg, and gravy, with Christmas pudding for dessert.

I have to say that I really enjoyed the Christmas meal a lot more than I thought I would. This sort of social occasion has, in the past, gotten a bad image from some of the other players at the club - an old player called Stan mentioned that the last time he went, hardly anyone talked to him, and he felt frozen out. However, everyone I talked to was unfailingly polite. This could be because the Christmas meal is almost entirely attended by Monday night players only. As Stan plays on the other two nights at the club, he wouldn't know anyone in any real depth or have much to talk about with them. For about a year now, I have been playing all three nights in an attempt to improve my game and learn from my mistakes. It seems that this determination has been bearing fruit, as I am no longer losing mixed or mens doubles games with scorelines like 21-4 or 21-5, and feel more confident and capable of holding my own against some of the better players. Quite a lot of the Monday players have been extremely generous in their praise of my improvement too, which is very heartening and pleasing.

After the Christmas meal came the Cranes Park house party in Surbiton! I was in quite a rush to pick up some cheap beer from the supermarket before I made my way over there. In any case, I needed to pick up 'twat nav' and an oversized bottle of Ouzo from home as it had been a while since I was last there. The party seemed quite casual when I arrived, but someone explained that there were a whole load of other musicians coming down after a nearby concert at St John's Church had finished. As it turned out, none of these extra guests showed up, so the party didn't actually get into full swing.

There was a piano and huge guitar amp in the living room, with loads of other musical gear everywhere - as you've probably guessed being the home of four musicians. Fordie was playing New Born when I arrived, but he gave up after awhile. I sat down and began an impromptu rendition of Bohemian Rhapsody which accumulated a massive singalong of some 15 drunk people! This was followed by Don't Stop Me Now and Summer of '69. It was just like one of our band practices at uni, with a slightly sinister undertone as I was in Dee's house this time. Finally, someone produced an iPhone and plugged it into the guitar amp. This allowed us to pick up the Spotify Premium application, which was very innovative! I introduced a few of the others to Sky Larkin, and they seemed quite impressed.

I got talking to a cute girl called Lizzie and somehow miraculously managed to get her phone number off her. Even more miraculously, she asked for mine! She was complimentary on my piano skills and said that she'd only ever learnt one piece, Greensleeves. I think I babbled some inane reply, along the lines of 'well that's a fairly good first piece to learn, most people learn Happy Birthday or something!' She works with Steph at Next, is still at Surbiton High finishing off her A levels, and intends to study history at college/uni. At the moment, I am trying to see if she's up for drinkage sometime in the week. As Danny Devito's character might have said in L.A. Confidential: "When I know more, dear reader, so will you. Off the record, on the QT, and very hush hush!"

The Colour of Tea

Anyone seen 'The colour of money'? The film with Paul Newman and Tom Cruise. Its about an ex hustler who teaches a pool player the tricks and the trade of being a pool hustler.

Well I've come up with a blurb for my story/book/novel. Its called 'The Colour of Tea'. Its about a man named Kuniga Qualer. The name came to me randomly last year.

BLURB:

Kuniga Qualer, an immigrant from Nigeria, has arrived in London. He has finally come to the capital of all capitals. But he is not happy. He is alone, clueless, seemingly afraid of what lies ahead.

His main aim? To find work, gain a life, but most importantly, look for his real family. With the help of an ex-CIA agent Max Caldwell and MI6 operative Francesca Gabriella, we follow him through his mission from the roads of Europe to the deserts of Africa. Can he track down his siblings before it is too late?

Career crisis? What do you think?

I thought I'd write a bit more about my current status.

I'm 24. I have no job, no degree, no money. My highest qualifications are A-levels. I do have the option to restart the 2nd year of a Mathematics and Finance course at City University. Another bright spark: I have plenty of work experience. I've worked in a bank, a few call centres and a hotel. My experience is predominantly telesales and customer service.

My most ideal, realistic role would be a cashier at a bank. And eventually I can work myself up the career ladder. From cashier via customer service advisor, personal banker to manager. Some people tell me to follow my passion. Music. I've been learning/playing Indian classical flute for nearly 17 years. I have experience in performing at several concerts in London, ranging from Beck Theatre, Winston Churchil Hall to Hammersmith Palais and Royal Albert Hall.

I could be a professional flutist if I wanted to. I can be my own boss. Perform at weddings, receptions, parties, you name it. I could teach beginners. I could join a band. I could release an album. I could become one of the top musicians in the world given the chance.

Alas, I'm not going to limit myself to a bank job or being a musician. I'm still exploring the possibilities. Driving instructor, administrator, police officer (my best mate's in the force), IT developer, salesman, estate agent, financial advisor. These are serious career prospects that I'm considering. You notice that I've left out, debatably, four (of what I consider) top jobs. Doctor, lawyer, accountant, engineer. The majority of my friends (as they are Sri Lankan) will stereotypically follow a career path in any of those four roles.

However, I'm not going to follow that traditional route. After much thought and consideration, if I were given the chance, I would have a predominantly full time career in finance during the week, and a part time music career for the weekends. Now what do you think of that?

David vs Goliath

At least, that's what was at stake today - a trifling matter of family pride. Me, taking on Nic and my dad at badminton, for just under an hour at the Rainbow Centre in Epsom. I had even gone to David Haye sort of lengths to build up the match a bit, but neither of them seemed unduly worried.

We played a total of 6 games and I ran out the 5-1 winner - bearing in mind that I was also playing both of them simultaneously! It's good to know that there's one sport in the universe that I can beat my sister at, lol.

He's back! Better, stronger, faster, and even more invincible.

Hello Jamie, hello all. Yup, I'm back on the blogger! Can you believe its been more than 2 years since I last posted on this website. And that was when I was on holiday in India in an internet cafe, waiting countless days for my sister to choose a sari for her wedding. HA!

Anyway since then, not much has happened. My sister Janani got married to Arpan, back in August 2007. I left CCA, the call centre in 2008. Managed to close all my online betting accounts. I learnt that doing your bollocks on rigged sites is not the way to go.

At the beginning of 2009 I joined Srishti, a dance company, as a freelance musician. For 3 months we toured the UK. The show consisted of a contemporary Indian classical dance, backed by 4 musicians. Myself on flute, Eason(percussion), Karthik (violin) and Yadavan(vocals). It was the best job I've ever had. I'd get paid for going to rehearsals and obviously performances. Rehearsals would last for 3-4 hours, so not even a full working day. And they were only held 2-3 days a week! Fantastic!

In April I joined Sheraton Hotel, near Heathrow as a guest service agent. The first few weeks involved on-the-job training. It included working in switchboard, concierge and reception. Eventually I was working in reception, checking in/out guests. The job got a little monotonous so I left to pursue a greater dream.

Alas, there were no other convincing roles around, so I was back to square one, looking for temp jobs like customer service and telesales. After a few posts as a market researcher and a sales advisor for a make over company, I've been jobhunting for the last 2 months. Its been tough, but in between I have managed to play a few gigs with my old guitar teacher, Kangai. He's a full time teacher/musician and has his own group, Priya Rhythms, with whom I have been performing with. We mostly play classic Indian film music with a hint of 'Baila', which I think is a popular form of Sri Lankan folk music.

Anyway, here I am on a Saturday evening, pondering going to a Sri Lankan gig called 'Kalai Karangal', organised by one of the percussion teachers at my old Tamil school. I've already missed the 1st half, maybe I should attend the 2nd.....c ya later!

the Carradine enigma

Read this. Does anyone seriously believe that the 72 year old Kill Bill star, found in a Thai hotel room with a rope around his neck and another around his penis, died of natural causes? Even at present, the mystery of his final hours has not yet been pieced together. Suicide has been ruled out as a motive even though he admitted attempting it when he was just 5 years old. For a man notable for his reluctance to discuss his private life, it sure is one heck of an extrovert exit.

Muse? at Wembley?

There must be some greater power out there. Muse have just announced two more stadium dates in 2010. One is Manchester Cricket Pavilion and the other is none other than Wembley Stadium. Being a member of Muse's website, they sent me an email that entitled me to join the Wednesday morning pre-sale, which started at bang on 9am. Unfortunately I had work from 8am. I can't even join the general public pre-sale for tomorrow morning because I'm on a cacking all day shift. Sometimes there is just no justice. Why can't some of these ticket pre-sales be in the evening? On top of that, I think all the cheap general admission tickets have sold out, and only the more expensive Level 2 seats remain. At £71 a pop, it's not an inconsiderable amount to pay, especially just before Christmas. So far I've asked four friends if they want tickets and nobody does. Is the world mad?!

Hybrid badminton match 2/10: more uh-oh

I had the great fortune to be dropped for this badminton match, which was away to Wimbledon. Several players in our team thought would be at least as hard as the preceding Sutton Adults match. St Andrews recorded another 9-0 whitewash, which is pretty horrific, but the prevailing mood seems to be that we played better than in the first game, and at least gave them a run for their money, even if the result shows otherwise. It's a little hard to comment on the play, considering I wasn't selected for this match and did not watch it, but hopefully we can get our act together a bit better for the third match, which is on 3rd December at home to Howard.

Cornwall! (part 2)

No, dear reader, I haven't forgotten that I was writing up a summary of our Cornwall holiday. It's taking a little longer than I thought, mostly because I'm having trouble remembering some of the finer details. Dear God, if this is what my memory is like at age 25, what on earth will it be like when I'm a haggard old pensioner?

Hybrid badminton match 1/10: uh-oh

Oh dear. Today at 7pm, our Hybrid badminton team played the visiting Sutton Adults, and we got roundly thrashed in a 9-0 whitewash. Our team consisted of: Sarah (captain), Jane, Ron, Paul, Gerry and myself. Each hybrid team consists of two women and four men. Each match we will play this season will consist of 9 games. Each game can consist of up to 3 rubbers. It all sounds a lot less confusing when it's actually put into practice.

The visiting team were impressive in their efficacy, ruthlessness and general sense of purpose. We knew that it was going to be a tough match - we just didn't know how tough it would be. I had been forewarned by the St Andrews Mens 2 team captain about one of their players - a 'chubby bloke with a bad haircut who'll smash it at you so forcefully you might end up with a new face' - but seeing him in action was something else.

All in all, this was a forgettable night for the St Andrews Hybrid team. None of our nine pairings could even force Sutton Adults into a third deciding rubber. The weakest component of their overall game was, by some margin, their women's singles - but even then they managed to beat our women. It didn't help matters at all that our women, Sarah and Jane, served underhand, as they regularly do; it was all too easy for the Sutton Adults women to send a first return to the back of the court, then simply tap the second return down with a careful drop to win the bulk of the points.

Even the pairing I would have considered our strongest - Ron and Paul - could not force their opponents to a third rubber. Then I knew we were definitely in for a decimation. The difference between the club's philosophies was vast. Sutton Adults looked like a well-oiled machine, whose players had been practicing and playing together for years. By contrast, we looked like a bunch of amateurs who were 'enjoying' the occasion. I suspect that this is one outcome, desirable or not, of what Sarah set out to achieve with the Hybrid team: in our training sessions, she has made no secret of the fact that she wants us to enjoy the badminton, rather than take it with the utmost seriousness.

The chasm between the teams was painful to see. At one point, Jane lost her temper when one of the Sutton Adults women playing against her was lucky to have a shot tipped over the net. Jane scooped up the shuttle with her racket and half-heartedly hit the shuttle back to the opposing woman, but she mishit the shuttle, which spun crazily along the court ground instead. It took her a further two tries to get the shuttle anywhere near the woman! It pains me to say it, but it was cringeworthy to see.

Fortunately, there is nothing in the rules to say we cannot field players from our best teams, should the circumstances come to it later on in the season. I suspect that this is what Sutton Adults have done. Their men were certainly strong enough to compete in any district Mens 2 team. As for myself, I did not fare too badly. When I played with Paul, (known as tall Paul, as he's a little over six foot) we lost our first rubber 21-16, and the second rubber 21-12.

I also could be called up to play some matches for the St Andrews Mens 2 team, and relish the opportunity to put the record straight. I know none of the league matches will ever be easy or straightforward, but at least on Mens 2 they all serve in the customary low shorthand way, so perhaps we will have a better chance.

The next Hybrid match is on November 10th and will be away to Wimbledon, but luckily I will be working that evening as I will be either rehearsing or recording demos with my band in the morning at Kingston Uni. Morale in the Hybrid team has imploded after this decimation in just our first match; and even Gerry, usually one of our most enthusiastic players, has said he hopes he isn't selected for the next match. Our captain Sarah will have a huge job on her hands controlling the spirit of the team over the course of the season.

my life according to Muse

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, cleverly answer these questions. Pass it on to 15 people and include me. You can't use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. It's a lot harder than you think! Repost as "my life according to (band name)"

Pick your Artist: Muse

Describe yourself: Glorious

How do you feel: Citizen Erased

Describe where you currently live: Cave

If you could go anywhere, you would go: The Gallery

Your favorite form of transportation: Supermassive Black Hole

Your best friend is: Invincible

You and your best friend: Hysteria

What's the weather like: Sober

Favorite time of day: Starlight

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called: Ruled By Secrecy

What is life to you: Escape

Your last relationship: Apocalypse Please

Your fear: Micro Cuts

What is the best advice you have to give: Time Is Running Out

Thought for the Day: Thoughts of a Dying Atheist

How you would like to die: Overdue

Your future: Futurism

Your motto: Hate This and I'll Love You

Cornwall! (part 1)

It was really good to finally get out of London for a week. I'll write more in due course as I'm fairly tired at the moment, having driven nearly 350 miles today. In fact, I had to muster a surprisingly substantial amount of effort just to lift the cutlery involved in dinner.

We had rented a large place, Ivy Cottage, near Watergate Bay. Our party consisted of myself, Catherine, Dad, Jason, Madeline, Sam, Tracey, Betty, my grandparents, Paula, and the dogs. We tried to cram as much sightseeing in as possible, but invariably with a party this size there was always going to be some winners and losers. Our loose itinerary was:

24/09: Drive from London to Cornwall, fish & chips from Newquay for dinner :)

25/09: Padstow and Tregarrian

26/09: Mylor Village

27/09: Gift shop (out in the middle of nowhere, with a ridiculously oversized car park) + Rosie came around for dinner

28/09: Newquay and Porth

29/09: Land's End and St Ives

30/09: Bedruthan Steps

1/10: Manic last minute packing!

je me plaisir

Yesterday was my last day at work, and I'm now on two weeks well-needed holiday! In other better news, I also made the new Hybrid team at my badminton club, so expect to see me lifting a racket over the coming weeks in the name of competitive team sport to earn some points for my club :)

car stuff for Cornwall

Well, the Cornwall holiday begins in 10 days time, so tomorrow I will be getting all the car stuff done and dusted. We drove to Horsham today to see the grandparents for awhile, but noticed that the rear left tyre was pretty soft and low on pressure. These are the things that need to be done:


1) Check the rear left tyre pressure to see if it's consistent.
2) Clean the damn car!
3) Use the Loctite to seal the aerial in place.
4) Check the right front speaker wiring.

realisation

While briefly glancing over some particularly old blogs from 2004-2005, I've just realised how much effort and energy I used to spend writing them. They seem (to me at least) erudite, insightful, and analytical, often to the point of anal retardation. I wonder if the lack of similarly thoughtful recent output is due to me feeling more frustrated at the various dichotomies or the inherent unfairness of the world; more tired with the repetitious, mundane existence I call a job; or more indifferent to the sheer implausibility that a complete grounding and two degrees in music could be anything other than gross timewasting?

band website

Doing some research on domains and how to buy one for the band. Unfortunately most of the 'good' Modulus ones (.com, .co.uk, and so on) are taken, though every single Modulustheband one is available. What do you lot think?

autumn chill

Is it just me or has anyone else noticed it's getting noticeably fresher outdoors at the moment?

the best email I have ever received

Mr. Gray

Deposit Protection Service (DPS)

Further to my previous email, the adjudicator has now provided a response to your recent queries regarding the decision. Their response is as follows:

“I have reviewed this case and am satisfied that the agreement was for a fixed period of 2 months, rather than 6. The issue was that there was a separate agreement attached to the pro-forma tenancy agreement, which stated that the fixed period was in fact 2 months. The Landlord only provided the pro-forma document which indicated it was 6 months.

However, reviewing the papers I am satisfied that the Tenant did provide, but I missed or overlooked, a copy of the addendum agreement for 2 months, and that therefore my decision was wrong. The only award made was in respect of rent due for the remainder of the “fixed term”. However, having reviewed the case I am satisfied that the fixed term had in fact expired, and therefore the Landlord received the £380 deposit in error as it should have been refunded to the Tenant.”

In light of the adjudicators comments, the DPS has taken the step to raise a cheque payable to you in the sum of £380 which will be sent shortly under separate cover.

Please note that the adjudicators comments above do not affect the validity of the decision which remains final and binding.

We hope that this clarifies matters for you and clarifies the position of the DPS.

Should you have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us.

Yours sincerely,

Louisa Smith

Case Handler

The Deposit Protection Service
enquiries@depositprotection.com
T +44 (0)844 4727 000

The Pavilions, Bridgwater Road, Bristol BS99 6AA, United Kingdom
www.depositprotection.com

SAVE PAPER - THINK BEFORE YOU PRINT!

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From: Jamie Gray [mailto:jamieuk15@hotmail.com]
Sent: 27 July 2009 15:35
To: dispute@depositprotection.com; #UK CS BRS Deposit Protection Disputes
Subject: Complaint RE: Deposit ID 11218086

To whom it may concern,

RE: Deposit ID 11218086

I wish to complain about the ADR service provided to me.

The adjudicator who dealt with my case has awarded the full deposit amount to my landlady, on determining that the tenancy agreement was fixed for a period of six months.

This is the basis of my complaint: nowhere in the tenancy agreement I have sent does it state that the tenancy is for a fixed six month period. The landlady omitted writing any term on the front of the AST F301E form, which you will be able to see from my attachment, and she also included a separate 2 sheet addendum to the agreement marked F301E - "additional and highlighted points", which clearly specifies - and I quote verbatim - that this is an "agreement for minimum of 2 months letting of room."

It is therefore beyond me how your adjudicator has managed to determine the tenancy period was fixed for six months, when the landlady has provided me with paperwork, which contradicts her claim, and consequently your decision.

The landlady has deliberately misled you as to the term the agreement was for, and I am disappointed that you did not originally spot this when looking over the paperwork. Please could you reconsider the situation, as I believe your judgment to be incorrect, and I have the evidence to support this in writing. Furthermore, when the minimum term of 2 months was originally agreed, this was witnessed by two property professionals, who are both willing to confirm that the minimum term was agreed for 2 months and not for 6 months!

Your attention in this matter would be greatly appreciated. I cannot afford to lose this money, and believe that I have been unfairly dealt with.

I await your reply.

Yours sincerely,

Jamie Gray

Encls: PDF copy of both AST agreement and addendum.

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JAG music

The twin blog 'JAG music' is now up and running here, check it out if you're an artistic person! Or even if you're not.

(not quite) 111 questions

1) Are you really ready for 111 questions?
Fire away.

2) Was your last real relationship a mistake?
In that there wasn’t one, yes.

4) Who did you last say “I Love you” to?
Myself.

5) Do you regret it?
Not really.

6) Have you ever been depressed?
Everyone must get that mindset sometimes. Highs, lows, blah blah blah.

7) Are you a boy or girl?
Boy.

9) What is your relationship status?
Single. Like Hayley I absolutely hate it!

10) How do you want to die?
In a car, inhaling toxic fumes, going to sleep and not waking up.

11)What did you last eat?
Chicken curry.

12) Played any sports?
I play badminton three times a week, which, as anyone who knows me will testify, is unbelievable.

13) Do you bite your nails ?
Very regularly.

14) When was your last physical fight?
It wasn’t really a fight – I spilt beer on a girl at the Black Sheep and she hit me.

15) Do you have an attitude?
Only if I feel strongly enough about something.

16) Do you like someone?
I take what comes. Right now I’m not a picky man.

17) What is your real name?
Jamie Alexander Gray.

19) Are you gonna get high later?
No.

20) Do you hate anyone at the moment?
Bernard.

21) Do you miss someone?
Too many to list here.

22) Twirl or cut your spaghetti?
Twirl, probably.

23) Do you tan a lot?
No, but then I don’t go on holiday much, or out in the sun.

24) Any pets?
Three cats and two dogs.

25) How exactly are you feeling?
Surprisingly awake seeing as it’s 2:11 in the morning.

26) Ever eaten food in a car while someone or yourself is driving?
Yep.

27) Ever made out in the bathroom?
No.

28) Would you take any of your exes back?
Exes?

29) Are you scared of spiders?
Only ones that’ll bite.

30) Would you go back in time if you were given the chance?
I’d like nothing more than to go back to being a kid, riding a bike somewhere, without a care in the world.

31) Do you regret anything from your past?
Loads.

32) What are your plans for this weekend?
To go to work and be bored out my skull once more….yawn.

33) Do you want to have kids?
Finding someone to have them with would be the first step.

34) Did you ever kiss someone whose name starts with an A?
Yes.

35) Do you type fast?
Definitely.

36) Do you have piercings?
No.

37) Want any more?
No.

38) Can you spell well?
Pseudo-meritocratical. Throw down.

39) Do you miss anyone from your past?
Again, quite a few.

40) What are you craving right now?
A stimulating job.

41) Ever been to a bonfire party?
We had a quality one at uni a while back. We deliberately aimed and set off fireworks at the walls of the Halls for the ickle freshers opposite us and make them jump!

43) Have you ever been on a horse?
Yes.

44) Kissed someone in a pick up truck?
No.

45) Have you ever broken someone’s heart?
I doubt it.

46) Have you ever been cheated on?
I’m not cool enough for that.

47) Have you made a boyfriend/girlfriend cry?
No.

49) Would you live with someone without marrying them?
Yeah. (Where’s Q48?)

50) What should you be doing ?
Sleeping.

51) What’s irritating you right now?
How many stupid little problems there are in the world that could be easily resolved.

52) Have you ever liked someone so much that it hurts?
Yeah, but you can’t make them reciprocate.

53) Does somebody love you?
I hope so.

54) What is your favorite colour ?
Light blue.

55) Have you ever changed clothes in a vehicle?
Yes.

57) Do you have trust issues?
Likely.

60. Do you have a good relationship with your parents?
Yeah. (No Q58-59?)

62) Do you still think about your last crush?
What’s the use? (Q61…)

63) Who was the last person you cried in front of?
My dad, when I had no money left.

64) Do you give out second chances too easily?
Not really.

65) Is it easier to forgive or forget?
By far it’s easier to forget.

66) Is this year the best year of your life?
Nowhere near.

67) What was your child hood nickname?
Boffin.

68) Have you ever walked outside completely naked?
No. I wouldn’t inflict that on the world.

70) Do you believe everything happens for a reason?
Yes. Some things are sheer circumstance, but more likely than not things can be influenced.

71) What is the last thing you did before you went to sleep last night?
Watched Friends.

73) What is bothering you?
The seemingly aimless direction of my life and how mundane everything is.

74) Have you ever been out of your province?
Yes.

75) Do you play the Wii?
Yes. The first day my physical age was 37. The next it was 23. Damn Nintendos.

76) Are you listening to music right now?
Not unless I want a shitload of neighbour complaints.

77) Do you like Chinese food?
I’m half Chinese, so yeah.

78) Do you know your fathers b-day?
Yeah.

79) Are you afraid of the dark?
No. The dark is for sleeping. Like I should be doing. Zzz…

80) Is cheating ever okay?
No. Break up and see someone else, I mean how hard is that?

81) Are you mean?
I can be extremely sarcastic when I want.

82) Can you keep white shoes clean?
No. People look stupid in brand new white shoes.

84) Do you believe in true love?
No. I think you make the best of what you’ve got. And where did Q83 go?

88) Do you like the outside?
I’m saying nothing till questions 85-87 appear!

89) Are you currently bored?
Completely, utterly, totally.

90) Do you wanna get married?
Yeah.

91) Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you baby?
Wouldn’t know.

92) Are you hungry?
No.

93) Have you ever made out for more than a half hour straight?!
No.

94) What makes you happy?
Being around friends, days off work, pay day, a warm bed.

95) Would you change your name?
No.

96) Ever been to Alaska?
No.

98) Do you watch the news?
Only if I feel like watching what’s been fucked up in the last three days.

99) What’ s your zodiac sign?
Cancer.

100. do you like subway?
No. The cheese tastes stale.

101) Would it be hard to kiss the last person you kissed?
Well, I’d have to remember who it was first…

102) Your best friend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?
Get in!

103) Do you talk like your friends?
Sometimes.

105) Have you ever seen someone you knew & purposely avoided them?
Yeah.

106) Do you have a friend of the opposite sex who you can act your complete self around?
Yeah.

107) who was the last person of the opposite sex you talked to?
Claire.

108) Does it matter if your boyfriend/girlfriend smokes?
I couldn’t date a smoker.

109) Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?
Bernard, oddly, on the ultimate improbability of a God/higher power.

110) ?!?!

111) Can you count to one million?
Can’t be arsed. Whoever made this survey obviously can’t even count to 111 on the basis of missing questions!

outrageous

Outrageous is the only word to describe the decision of the external company hired by the DPS, who today have notified me they intend to award the full amount of the deposit to Christine. The breakdown of their decision has been sent, and it is interesting to see that they do not uphold her counter-claims in respect of lost keys, water damage, or lack of a forwarding address. What is absolutely unacceptable to me is that they have awarded the full deposit to her in respect of lost rent. The adjudicator has, according to the resulting paperwork, agreed that my tenancy at Avon Close should have been for a period of 6 months. Because I left after 4 months, even though I gave full verbal notice of intention to end, they have concluded that she is entitled to my deposit in lieu of lost rent.

The problem with all of the above is that I do not contend my tenancy period was ever agreed at 6 months. In fact, on the official AST F301E form, Christine has not even deigned to write a minimum term of tenancy in the space, or even a commencement date of my tenancy. Further, on her unofficial two-page addendum, entitled 'Additional and Highlighted Points', in big bright letters at the top are the words 'Minimum Period Two Months'. I verbally agreed this tenancy with her on the basis that it was, in fact, for a minimum period of two months, and this was witnessed by both my dad and stepmum. All of this is very strong evidence, which is why I cannot understand for a second how someone with half a brain, let alone legally trained, could have overlooked such glaring evidence.

I am actually shaking with rage as I write this. I have never felt such a strong sense of injustice in my life. I will be writing to the DPS, calling the DPS, and emailing the DPS until that money is back in my bank account, because I do not believe for one second that Christine is legally entitled to my money. The DPS is allegedly supposed to protect the interests of its patrons, i.e. tenants, and I am sure that national newspaper coverage would be ideal in highlighting how they are failing to uphold the principles on which they are based.

This is not over.

post 401

Seems creepy, doesn't it? 400 posts to this blog and, if you haven't read my apologies for so many of them being poker-oriented, I'll apologise once more, and reiterate that there's only going to be stuff about the band on here. At least, until we get an official band site with bios, clips and other nice bits in. Fortunately, this post from now on is going to be totally about what the band's been up to...

WEDDING GIG: 21/08/09

With everyone's coursework now out of the way for another year, the band are free to concentrate on final preparations for the gig at Jenni's wedding. It was largely felt that, when things did go right at the Hatter gig, the band didn't sound too bad at all, and there was definitely potential for the future. Encouraged by this, we continued to rehearse this summer in the absence of our drummer Emma, and today have had a very productive rehearsal, learning Son of a Preacher Man, Mr. Brightside, Summer of '69, and Pretty Woman. Next time, on Friday week, we aim to be rehearsing Mercy and quickly revising Son of a Preacher Man in a different key.

in ADR

Okay, well finally my DPS case is being processed through the ADR service. This apparently involves outsourcing the actual case to an external, legally-trained company on behalf of the DPS. This company makes a decision on the available evidence (which I must say, should work in my favour as I have ample documentation to prove everything) and then notifies the DPS, which in turn notifies me.

It turns out that Christine is claiming a ridiculous series of amounts of money from me; £196 to replace the locks at Avon Close, along with sets of new keys? I cannot believe how many times I have to repeat my statement to her that Royal Mail lost the damn keys, not myself, and that the keys were processed through their recorded delivery system, which means that I have written and online proof of postage, which can be easily verified by the external company.

She is also claiming in excess of £300 for 'water damage to the lounge ceiling due to usage of the shower'. Seeing as she was in Africa at the time it is rather interesting how she aims to provide any sort of hard evidence that I was exclusively to blame for this so-called 'damage', particularly as all occupants of Avon Close were using the shower facilities at the time. It is not unreasonable to expect people to wash themselves at least daily.

She claims an undisclosed figure for 'failing to provide a forwarding address for correspondence', and yet she has not even asked me for one in the time that she was in the country. Beside that point, virtually every communication I have had with her to date has been via email, so why is a forwarding address necessary?

I have to say that if this is her basis for contesting my claims to the adjudication service, I remain hopeful and confident of a favourable outcome.

pisstake

Christine is really taking the piss with my deposit from Avon Close. She has not returned it because she believes that I still have the keys, even though these were posted on the 27th April via Royal Mail's recorded delivery. In that time period, Royal Mail have confirmed to me that the likelihood is the keys have been lost in a sorting office. I cannot see how it could in any way be my fault that she does not have the keys. I haven't yet ruled out the possibility of pursuing compensation from Royal Mail.

Since she hasn't returned my deposit in full, I have had little option except to use the ADR (Alternative Dispute Resolution) service from the DPS. I believe that I have excellent documented evidence which will ultimately result in a decision in my favour. I have also drawn up a summary of communications which will neatly correlate with all the correspondence I have ever sent her, whilst simultaneously highlighting how long it has taken her to respond to each of my points.

17 Avon Close

---ORIGINAL MESSAGE START---

Thank you for leaving the room locked and clean. Please can you return the keys to me at 121 or to 17 AC ASAP? Thanks

I will read the meters this weekend and reimburse you accordingly.

The lounge looks like a water disaster from the shower which was brand new in July 08. The shower works fine so I wonder what happened. Perhaps you can tell me? Meanwhile I'll get a decorating quote. Thanks 

Our contract said you would give me verbal notice and whilst I agree that talking to me in Tanzania is more than normal cost it woud lhave been good to know that you have spoken to me or to Stephanie, my appointed represenatative that all other 10 tenants knew of.

I didn't recieve any voice messages or I woudl have sent you a reply; you know that I would always make clear all arrangements. Christine

---ORIGINAL MESSAGE END---

Why is it incumbent upon me to tell her what happened to the shower? Why not Nathan, Rebecca or Ellen? The real subtext of "I'll get a decorating quote" is "sit back while I find a ridiculously high price to charge you for something that isn't your fault".

Bizarrely enough, if Christine had read her own contract, she would have discovered that I am eligible to leave after two months. You just have to love the total hypocrisy dripping through this email. "Our contract said you would give me verbal notice." Oh yeah? Well, if the only contact number you leave me is your mobile phone number that's constantly switched off, is it not perfectly reasonable to leave voicemail, text message, and an answering machine message on your home landline? Yes, all other ten tenants knew that Stephanie was your appointed representative, but the other tenants aren't the ones having a dispute, are they? It would be helpful in the extreme if you had deigned to name your representative, but you didn't.

the end of Avon Close

I notified my landlady, Christine Holyhead, exactly a month ago that I wished to vacate my room at Avon Close. There are several reasons why I have chosen to do this, each as valid as the next, although two reasons stick out in particular: one, my life of quiet solitude, revolving around work, eating, and sleeping had led me to become evermore reclusive and at some point I developed a worrying gambling habit that definitely needed nipping in the bud; two, these aforementioned reclusive tendencies developed because the houseshare was not the most social or extrovert house one could find. In other words, all the current tenants of the property live their lives according to their own agendas, never seeking to find company from anyone else in the house or even to spend some time getting to know one another. Increasingly over the last two or three weeks, I found myself disillusioned by this social fragmenting, and did not particularly ascribe to this way of life. I have always thought it important to try and get to know your housemates, and interact with them in a mutually compatible way.

just once

Just once, it would be nice to live in a house where something didn't go wrong. There is a problem with the bathroom at Avon Close, in that the shower enclosure is leaking water onto the floor, even though I have been running the water for barely three minutes. In the past, I have dried any residual water up with my towel; the other housemates have noticed this maintenance problem too. The issue is that Christine, the landlord, is in Africa at this time, and so there cannot be any guarantee that the problem will be fixed any time soon. For now, I will have to have showers back at my old house on Devonshire Road.

more irrelevant crap.

Random things you prob didn't know about me..Share. (whoever says 'random' next, the most overused word in existence EVER, will be personally shot and dismembered, capiche?)
Today at 23:04
Just copy and paste and put your own answers in. The purpose of this is to get to know my friends better.

Here are the rules - post this list on your profile (in Notes) replacing my answers with yours. Tag 10 people to do the same thing.

If I've tagged YOU, it's because I want to know more about YOU!

1. WERE YOU NAMED AFTER ANYONE?
No. I was meant to be called Alex Jamie. Thank fuck for that.

2. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU CRIED?
When my parents split.

3. DO YOU LIKE YOUR HANDWRITING?
It's the best.

4. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE LUNCH MEAT?
Chicken. But not that watered down shit from Iceland.

5. KIDS?
Hahaha, seriously? Sex would be a great start.

6. IF YOU WERE ANOTHER PERSON, WOULD YOU BE FRIENDS WITH YOU?
Obviously. I'm super.

7. DO YOU USE SARCASM?
Without fail.

9. WOULD YOU BUNGEE JUMP?
What happened to question 8?

10. WHAT IS YOUR FAVORITE CEREAL
Weetabix.

11. DO YOU UNTIE YOUR SHOES WHEN YOU TAKE THEM OFF?
Mine have no laces. In your face, laceless shoes.

13. WHAT IS YOUR FAVOURITE ICE CREAM?
Can't stand ice cream.

14. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT PEOPLE?
If they're scallies and the relative likelihood of me catching leprosy off them.

15. RED OR PINK?
Red.

16. WHAT IS YOUR LEAST FAVOURITE THING ABOUT YOURSELF?
How I can't seem to maintain relationships with just about anyone.

18. DO YOU WANT EVERYONE TO COMPLETE THIS LIST?
Don't care.

19. WHAT COLOUR TROUSERS AND SHOES ARE YOU WEARING?
Black work trousers and barefoot.

21. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW?
Kammermusik No. 5 by Hindemith.

22. IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOUR WOULD YOU BE?
Purple. Because I'm worth it.

23. FAVOURITE SMELLS?
Bacon frying. Cat fur. Grass after it just rained.

24. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE?
Blob, for about 4 seconds. I was driving and told him to call me back. He didn't. LOSER.

25. WHO WAS THE LAST PERSON YOU KISSED?
It's been so long ago I don't care to remember.

26. FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
F1.

27. HAIR COLOUR?
Dark brown.

28. EYE COLOUR?
Brown.

29. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS?
No.

30. FAVOURITE FOOD?
Roast lamb.

31. SCARY MOVIES OR HAPPY ENDINGS?
Scary movies. Happy endings are unrealistic.

32. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED?
The Dark Crystal.

33. WHAT COLOUR SHIRT ARE YOU WEARING?
Grey.

34. SUMMER OR WINTER?
Summer.

35. HUGS OR KISSES?
Kisses.

36. SHOWERS OR BATHS?
Showers. I don't have a choice in my house!

37. MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Someone else wasting their life on Facebook.

38. LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND?
Someone too social to be on Facebook.

39. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING NOW?
Natsuo Kirino: 'Out'

40. WHAT IS ON YOUR MOUSE PAD?
Mr Burns. Excellent.

41. WHAT DID YOU WATCH ON TV LAST NIGHT?
Blackadder III and IV.

42. FAVOURITE SOUND(S)?
My band live. We kick arse.

43. ROLLING STONES OR BEATLES?
Neither.

44. WHAT IS THE FARTHEST YOU HAVE BEEN FROM HOME?
Malaysia.

45. DO YOU HAVE A SPECIAL TALENT?
Fucking up things that don't have to be fucked up.

46 WHERE WERE U BORN?
Sutton. Don't I travel around....

47. WHOSE ANSWERS ARE YOU
That's not even a question, is it!

a praise chorus

The theme for today is maintenance - we finally got our washing machine fixed after a couple of weeks of mysterious leaks and random flashing lights, and in a couple of hours I'm going to pick up my restrung badminton racket from the sports shop in Cheam. It's a little annoying to have to meet this extra cost, but I guess these things happen. It's better to have the whole racket restrung than only doing the half dozen strings that have gone - think what would happen if you had to call the piano tuner in to only do the middle two octaves. The rest of the notes would sound a bit weird! In any case, I'm pretty happy with how I played on the Wednesday session. My 1st serve percentage was higher (less unforced errors) and the accuracy was generally better than last week.

I'm currently reading Out, by Natsuo Kirino. It's about four Japanese women working a soul-destroying night shift in a factory. One of them discovers her husband is spending all their money in strip bars and on gambling, so she kills him and seeks the help of her friends at the factory to dispose of the body. Problem is, the police are starting to ask questions, though the women are starting to find themselves up against more dangerous enemies, including a yakuza-connected loan shark and a nightclub and casino owner who has nothing to lose and everything to gain. Buy it!

flatlining

Ok, well let's start this post with the bad news, which is that I didn't even get an interview to the Brits School job. 70 people applied for it and, like Dorking Halls, among the candidates were previous box office/theatre managers; just my luck. To make things worse, I also lost my quarter finals men's doubles match at my badminton club. Except for a few wayward serves, I doubt I could've played any better than I did on the night.

It doesn't get much better this week, sadly. A work colleague has taken the entire week off sick on compassionate leave, and I've plugged every available gap to the tune of 56 hours. I write this as I have just got through my front door after 35 consecutive hours of work. With shifts finishing at 10pm and having to be back at the office by 8am the following morning, there just isn't time to socialise in between and find that oh-so-elusive female company, which is a shame as that's obviously one key component of evolving and developing my pathetic life. It's all I can manage to make dinner, eat, glance at the news, and collapse into bed.

Perhaps it's time I tried Prozac, or as they call it in the industry, "artificial happy"?

like a human resource

Deploy me as you see fit.
Give me a number instead of a name.
He is employee [ ] with password [ ] at store [ ] with NI no. [ ]
Electronic resources: the internet. online libraries. email interviews.
Human resources: people. in cattle grids.
Making bleating noises and such. Over and over.
I'm a PERSON. not a human resource.

continuum

Whilst sitting in my room with nothing better to do and nobody to be around, I dug this up from my blog archives: the following was written five years ago to the day.

"I hate today. The worst thing about it is how bad it makes you feel when you see all the smug happy couples out around town."

Isn't it bizarrely fascinating to conclude that I personally feel no different towards Valentine's Day now than I did when I was 19? Or does it just mean that I remain the eternal sociopath? Perhaps, in time, the unthinkable may happen and my world view may alter unrecognisably. But in the meantime, it seems that solitude is here to stay.

no news is good news?

As far as my application to the BRITS school goes, it certainly seems that no news may be good news. Like most other companies at this time of year, they have had to contend with a larger-than-normal amount of staff sickness, which means that nobody at their end has sifted through all the applications. I may not have an interview offer, but I haven't been outright rejected either.

However, news regarding the band is extremely heartening. Rehearsal went very well today; I definitely think today was one of our better rehearsals. As you may already know from glancing at my Facebook page, we will be playing a short set at the Cricketers pub in Kingston on the 20th February, at approximately 8.30pm. (Hint: Navigate to my Myspace page, look up the 'Upcoming Shows' to find a little surprise!)

We will then follow up our little stint at the Cricketers with an entry to the Battle of the Bands contest, to be held at the Kingston Hill campus of Kingston University. Bands are required to play three original songs. The first song we will play is Beseechingly, written by me. The second song is .... shhh, it’s a secret. The final song is written by our wonderful talented singer Dee McGruddy. Cross your fingers for us! There will be a music industry expert in attendance. First prize is £400 to spend on band gear and the promise of headlining more local gigs.

stupefaction

Hi all. This is a real spur-of-the-moment thing, as I thought it was high time I actually wrote something engaging.

How the hell is it February already? Seems that January has roared on by, in my usual alcohol/work/sleep combination. I'm in perfect sync with the rest of the nation's workforce - chained to a job by the need to meet rent and the usual multitude of bills. Pay something off and something else will undoubtedly spring up in its place.

I'm on 58 hours this week, as the manageress is on holiday and I have to cover. There's this inescapable feeling that I should be doing something better, something altogether more purposeful with my life. Unfortunately, this is the worst possible time to try and find alternative employment, because the
unemployment count is nearing 3 million. Nobody is recruiting new blood.

Money is the perennial problem; I know it's tricky for everyone to manage at the moment. It just seems that if I'm not working, I'm probably (a) sleeping, (b) staying at home, (c) watching tv or (d) on the computer. I don't have nearly as much spare money as I would need to go out and enjoy myself a bit more. I didn't make any New Year's resolutions this year so I suppose that would be the first one.

When you get into the vicious retail cycle, you end up praying that there's some light at the end of the tunnel - because all those long hours combined with low disposable income ultimately mean there's hardly any time to go out even for a social drink. Sometimes I finish work at..10pm..- by the
time I get home, shower, change, and head back out it will be almost..11pm...This makes it almost impossible to socialise or dare I say find female company.

I guess I should be grateful that, unlike an increasing number of the population, I still have a full time job. Yes, it may be below average earnings, but it's still something. The obvious depressing counterpoint is that it will take months, if not years, to find something I would actually enjoying
doing that simultaneously pays well. Truth be known, I've had enough of retail. Nobody should ever have to do it for more than 5 years, and I've already done it for 7, albeit on and off.

In an effort to be more positive and end these posts in a more upbeat manner, I'm going to try identify some silver linings:

1. Holding a managerial job for this length of time will probably look good on a CV when the right job does come along.
2. House is soon going to be syndicated on Channel 5.
3. This month's paycheck will be very good, because of all the hours I've worked. (Shame it will still go on bills!)
4. I am free to move out of my current houseshare at the end of June - this will probably be the subject of a later post.
5. If this government ever get back in at the next election, I'm emigrating.

Parting advice: wrap up warm, the forecast is for more snow over the weekend.

these are the days

Hi all. This is a real spur-of-the-moment thing, as I thought it was high time I actually wrote something engaging, rather than merely copy and paste a memento from another wild late-night poker session.

How the hell is it February already? Seems that January has roared on by, in my usual alcohol/work/sleep combination. I'm in perfect sync with the rest of the nation's workforce - chained to a job by the need to meet rent and the usual multitude of bills. Pay something off and something else will undoubtedly spring up in its place.

I'm on 58 hours this week, as the manageress is on holiday and I have to cover. There's this inescapable feeling that I should be doing something better, something altogether more purposeful with my life. Unfortunately, this is the worst possible time to try and find alternative employment, because the unemployment count is nearing 3 million. Nobody is recruiting new blood.

Money is the perennial problem; I know it's tricky for everyone to manage at the moment. It just seems that if I'm not working, I'm probably (a) sleeping, (b) staying at home, (c) watching tv or (d) on the computer. I don't have nearly as much spare money as I would need to go out and enjoy myself a bit more. I didn't make any New Year's resolutions this year so I suppose that would be the first one.

When you get into the vicious retail cycle, you end up praying that there's some light at the end of the tunnel - because all those long hours combined with low disposable income ultimately mean there's hardly any time to go out even for a social drink. Sometimes I finish work at 10pm - by the time I get home, shower, change, and head back out it will be almost 11pm. This makes it almost impossible to socialise or dare I say find female company.

I guess I should be grateful that, unlike an increasing number of the population, I still have a full time job. Yes, it may be below average earnings, but it's still something. The obvious depressing counterpoint is that it will take months, if not years, to find something I would actually enjoying doing that simultaneously pays well. Truth be known, I've had enough of retail. Nobody should ever have to do it for more than 5 years, and I've already done it for 7, albeit on and off.

In an effort to be more positive and end these posts in a more upbeat manner, I'm going to try identify some silver linings:

1. Holding a managerial job for this length of time will probably look good on a CV when the right job does come along.
2. House is soon going to be syndicated on Channel 5.
3. This month's paycheck will be very good, because of all the hours I've worked. (Shame it will still go on bills!)
4. I am free to move out of my current houseshare at the end of June - this will probably be the subject of a later post.
5. If this government ever get back in at the next election, I'm emigrating.

Parting advice: wrap up warm, the forecast is for more snow over the weekend.

a time to kill (25 random things...)

Boredom is the trump card.

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Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.

(To do this, go to “notes” under tabs on your profile page, paste these instructions in the body of the note, type your 25 random things, tag 25 people (in the right hand corner of the app) then click publish.)

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25. I've almost drowned three times and as a result have a phobia of water.

24. I'm paranoid about bees, wasps, and other irrational flying insects in general.

23. One of the best years of my life was being at Bungle in Leeds.

22. Whitney Houston was one of the first artists I ever listened to.

21. While I can control my fingers on a piano quite well, I am actually very clumsy with cups of coffee.

20. I enjoy going to Black Sheep on a Friday night because it perpetuates the myth I'll actually pull.

19. My musical taste isn't, as some think, limited to punk and rock. I also dabble in classical, jazz, blues, and ethnic music.

18. When I was 15, one of my cats practically clawed off one of my testicles.

17. When I was even younger, I rode my BMX bike straight into the only dustbin for miles at Carshalton Park. I fell head first into it and smelt of trash for about a week!

16. I blew up the cooker in my house.

15. When I was hungover in Leeds, I washed my car with a scouring pad.

14. I tried to win a scholarship back to prep school at age 5 but failed it because I didn't know who the sixth president of Russia was.

13. I'm secretly obsessed with House MD, even though it's not as good as it was.

12. While my mother gave birth to me, my dad was busy watching the ladies final at Wimbledon in another room.

11. My childhood TV viewing consisted of Rolf Harris, Pat Sharpe, Neil Buchanan, Bob Holness, Jon Fashanu, and David Bowie.

10. I think summer is truly the best season all year around.

9. I think I could have probably found a job in the music industry by now, if only I was born and had studied 20 years earlier. Shit.

8. I would probably vote Conservative. Sure, they're not perfect either but on balance they are almost certainly the lesser of two evils.

7. I dived into a skip when drunk to search for "treasure".

6. Having babies is the last thing on my mind - actual sex would be a good first step.

5. There are times when I wonder how people remain so hopeful and optimistic given all the negativity in the world.

4. I advocate atheism. Most international conflict in the last 200 years would be obliterated if there was no such thing as religion.

3. While I don't like my job, with virtually 3 million unemployed in the country I'm more or less stuck where I am.

2. Ultimately I'd like to write music for a living, as a solo pianist, in a band or for film.

1. I believe that money might not make you happy, but it might make being unhappy easier to bear.

'communications'

---ORIGINAL MESSAGE START---

Jamie,

hope  you got through to BG.

I am concerned about contact with you; I think you have sent me a text 2x since you moved in and I have responded/acted upon instantly and yet I have rec'd no reply from you to my texts and the last email - to which everyone has sent a response.

I do understand that we did not go through your room for a through check but I know re the chips in the wardrobe and the drawer corners etc as I checked it out with tizzy when she left dec 23rd. 

However, pl reply to my messages if you can and let me know that your DPS HAS ARRIVED.

Chrisitne

---ORIGINAL MESSAGE END---  

Am beginning to have serious doubts about Christine's suitability as my landlady. It is one thing to express concern that I am not keeping in contact with her - and yet this seems a somewhat falsified concern, given that nothing in the house has gone wrong - but it is quite another thing altogether to be so ridiculously patronising, typing whole sentences in UPPERCASE TO REALLY HAMMER YOUR POINT HOME. I feel like screaming at the bitch that she is talking to someone with two degrees, a very high IQ and someone of above average intelligence. Come to think of it, she hasn't even spelt her own name right at the end of the email. Lol.

gas man cometh

---ORIGINAL MESSAGE START---

Hi all,

I popped in Sunday to read the meter as the weather has been so cold. sit down now with a nice drink!

My estimate is that the last 2 weeks cost you £129 so £30 each which is £20 more than I allocate in your bill payment for a 2 week period. Your electricity , in my calcu;ation was bout the same as b4 and as last year at this time. About £12+per month.

I suggest that you prepare to pay an extra £10 a week in gas if you keep the house heated most of the time. This is fine by me..

The next meter reading will be March 3rd so I need to have your extra cash in by the end of Feb. please.

At present I need you to choose when to pay an extra £20 to A&L on your £50 bill as long as I have it well b4 march 8th [ when I pay the gas].

Alternatively you can ring with the real meter readings and get the accurate costings almost as often as you like.

I am conmcerned that you will think I am horrid about this but actually I'm trying to make sure no -one gets a £200 bill which they'd loose off their deposit.

Pl could you tell me if you have rec'd notificatio fof DPS deposits recently?

I'm going to get my own house gas reading this am and just don't want to do it at all!

Pl keep in touch, Xine

---ORIGINAL MESSAGE END---

I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm getting fucked here. I appreciate that the price of gas and electricity has risen in the last year, but to charge each of us the equivalent of £60 a month is absolutely criminal. I will be ringing each company individually to ascertain the real figures.

solitary

This house is actually doing my head in. I'm the only one 'living' here at the moment, on account of the fact that everyone else has gone home to see their relatives for the Christmas period. It is unbearably quiet here, save for the occasional morning where the small Chinese boy starts crying next door.

The others won't be back until the middle of January. Perhaps it's just me, but I have always been accustomed in my uni days to get to know my housemates, and try my hardest to become friends with them. It's obviously a lot harder to do this when they're not around. For now, it seems clear that I should try and expand my range of social activities so that these situations don't happen so much in the future.